Two Cents Per Inch

The World Disappoints Me..... Terribly

2009-07-27T20:14:00.000-07:00

Ok, today kinda sucked.

It just had that suck smell all over it. My weekend had gone pretty well. Had my birthday celebration with the majority of my closest friends. Some killer folk couldn't make it but that's standard these days ain't it? The previous Friday had left me with some sour feelings but it was Friday after all so I easily shook that shit off.

One thing just led to another over the past three days which eventually caused me to form this opinion. Although temporary it might be, still completely valid.

People suck. They are stupid! No one tries anymore with even the most mundane of tasks. I'll give an example. The other day I went to meet a person I had never seen before. I had to meet them at their work.

No big deal, easy peasy right?

No, sorry, nothing is easy anymore. I was told to go to the front door and ask for reception.

Ok, I follow.

I walked in the front door and asked for my contact. The lady working reception gave me a look like I was an idiot. The receptionist continued to explain that the person I wanted was to be found at the front door around the side of the building.

Ok.... Ok.... Ok...., I'm trying to calm down, just a sec. Ok,...., I'm sure you caught that? Please tell me you did.

THE FRONT DOOR AT THE SIDE OF THE BUILDING!!!

Are you fucking kidding me?

So now, instantly, at least two people are complete fucking morons. The person who neglected to tell me there were multiple offices contained in a building I'd never been to before and the receptionist who thinks such a thing as a side-front door exists. No signage anywhere so directions is all I have to go with.

If you are giving directions you need to be specific right? No one on the planet would think that the front door means side door without further details.

I'm a detail oriented guy so if I was telling someone to come to my office space located in a larger complex housing many businesses I would mention, at least, our front door. Laziness has become accepted commonplace among humankind. That's bullshit.

Another example would have to be from my most recent experience with film. Harry Potter 6. Anyone who saw that movie should now know the end. I won't give it away. I don't need to. Its so fucking obvious. My problem is that this is the level of structure needed to fool the average citizen these days. Maybe its North America, maybe its television. Whatever the cause people are getting dumber and they are proud of it to the point of defending it as a life style.

Don't get me wrong. I don't think I'm better than people and I have great confidence in the capability of humans, in their potential, but I have been bombarded lately by things like "Why you gotta think so much man? Can't you just enjoy it?

No I fucking can't!!! This is wrong. We are headed in the wrong direction here people. The idea is to evolve, not regress. Until we get it through our heads that we are making ourselves dumber and dumber by accepting garbage as gospel we are doomed to climb back into the trees and flinging crap at each other. Hey, we're pretty close now aren't we.

Push intelligence, not complacency. We are never complete. There will always be room for improvement.

A Re-organization Of My Blog

2009-07-21T20:12:00.000-07:00

Hello friends, or friend. I've decided to change the focus of my blog.
I haven't exactly lost my passion for foraging, actually far from it, but I have decided its something I just want to do, not report on. As such I need new subject matter. Really there's nothing better to blog about than the things you find yourself talking about day to day.

You might not know what I mean.

Ever had an issue that for some reason is dear to your heart? With no warning you launch into deep discussion with the nearest stranger. For me those issues are many and varied.
For instance: Bad Drivers
Zombie stuff
Politics, both National and International
Food
Hockey
Music
Movies, television, games and pop culture
Social issues
Atheism
And the list goes

Some topics I'm going to avoid like the plague:

Baseball

High Finance
Babies
Children
Preteens
Young teenagers
Basically anyone under the age of 18
Family Stuff
Feminism (unless its to vent about contradictions contained within, I'm entitled to an opinion)
Cars
Night Clubs/Bars
Basically anything lame or 'jockish' or is it 'jockesque' (they can't read anyhow right?)
Etc.

So why now? Why not reformat after May? Why wait till now?

Look... I was busy ok. At this point I'm cooking with..... solar? Gotta stay environmental. Wait did I put that in the list of things I'm gonna talk about??? Screw it. In case you haven't noticed I do enough writing at work and online to write this blog with professional discretion. Its my chance to let loose and to write like I speak. Uh oh!

Just a heads up.

Look for my comedic list of driver types, as categorized by yours truly, in the near future. I'll try and put my road rage into print instead of up someone's bumper. Beware stupid drivers.

Example: Shuck and Jivers - Everyone knows these guys. They may be called assh@le or jerk on your list but any way you slice it they react the same. They can be found on any highway that has more than one lane headed in the same direction. These peons actually think that constantly changing lanes for mere inches of space will not only get them to their destination sooner but they actually believe that every other driver on the road is an idiot. Explaining to these people that they are one of the main reasons highways get bogged down and traffic slows is like convincing a retarded rock that it can fly. (Hope I didn't offend anyone with the retard comment, ok ok ok, a challenged rock)

Effective deterence: Box em out. You know what I mean. Find a big rig travelling relatively slowly and siddle up along that road whale. Now all you need to do is match the speed of the big rig and the trap is laid.......

That is the idea anyhow. It might suck big ones but hey, I gots to try it right. If you don't like it go suck a lemon. Just teasing. Talk soon? Call me.

No food but maybe a new pet?

2009-05-22T01:26:00.000-07:00

Snakes

Well I went out foraging again and I'll tell you right away I had no luck. I did have a run in with a small snake however.

It made the mistake of moving when I walked past it catching my attention. I had already been walking and hunting for wild food for some time and was about to turn back anyway. Instead of the hike becoming a total loss, I stopped for a close-up inspection of the slithery bandit. Here's a pic of him crossing my path.

I don't know much about snakes. I couldn't identify the species. The snake had an interlocking pattern on its body. It was kind of simple on colours. Brown, black and white were all easy to see on its scales.

It took quite a bit of work to get it rangled inot a position where I could pick it up. Normally I would take a stick and pin the snake to the ground. If you pin it down close to its head its much easier to pick up without running much risk of a bite.

He looked pretty small and there aren't really any poisonous snakes in the Niagara region to my knowledge.

I kept kicking at the snake scaring it to the middle of the path. If it got back to the grass and green coverage I would have lost it easily.

After I had the snake centered I bolted to the side of the path and grabbed two weak stalks from an unidentified plant. They were pretty weak but I was sure i could make them work.

I ran back to the snake, it was still in the middle of the path, curled up, probably in defence. Sorry buddy. I got him. At the top of this post is a pic of me with the snake in my hand. Its pretty clear. If anyone knows the details and species of the snake please leave a comment on this post.

Well, not much to report from that hunt. At least I know for next time, that area has little to offer. I won't avoid it completely but I know what I'm after isn't there. Mapping your area with your finds helps your harvest increase week to week and year to year.

Until next time!

Feeding the homeless with foraging.

2009-05-21T19:28:00.001-07:00

I had a great idea the other day. Well, really its an old idea of mine, but I recently revisited the thought and have even added to the concept. Its now ready to be unleashed on the world. The concept at least.

At this point the solution is a combination of small things that, in total, should make some significant changes in our society. If we apply a combination of simple solutions to larger problems usually we end up in a better situation. Things will never be perfect but they can always be better.

I believe one of the most effective changes we could implement comes in the form of training at soup kitchens. For minimal cost a foraging specialist could be hired to tour through soup kitchens in cities with homeless populations. These touring specialists would teach the homeless about edible and medicinal plants. It's an old idea with a new twist really. Give a man a fish you feed him for a day. Teach a man to fish and you feed him for a life time. Is that a quote? Whoever said it was a genious.

This isn't an excuse for the government to relax its aid policies or soup kitchens but rather a cheap and effective way to augment a system in jeopardy. The mentality that all large-scale problems can only be fixed with monetary packages is archaic. As the world changes we are going to find that hard work and community cooperation will be the solution to most of our problems. And don't worry, I'm talking about cooperation and problem solving as a group, not communism.

That's step one. Step two takes a little more involvement from municipalities and the community but the cost to the government and the taxpayer would remain the same. You know all those flower boxes and ornamental beds that line main street in every city? Well, a lot of time and resources go into maintaining those beds. What if the contents were edible? Certain flowering plants are edible such as wild onion. It has a beautiful purple and white head when in bloom.

The boxes and beds don't have to be exclusively edible. They could be planted 50 50 with ornamental plants and edible ones. The major problem with this is making sure the growing food goes to those in need. It would be impossible to regulate so that is where the community buy in comes into place. This is the weakest step of the three (one more to come)I would like to see implemented to close the gap in the homeless/hungry problem. This step isn't perfect but it has serious potential.

Step three is potentially the most auspicious and effective of the three steps. The government has to support families in need as well as the homeless. While the homeless have missions and soup kitchens to go to in times of need families on the poverty line resort to things like government aid, food stamps, charities and food banks. Would it be that expensive to distribute seed packages to families who resort to food stamps and banks?

Planting and growing food independently tends to give people a sense of pride and in the long run could adsorb much of the current dollars used to feed the hungry. These three ideas used in tandem doesn't make for a perfect solution but it would, in all probability, make things much better.

Just a thought.

Tips and tricks of the trade

2009-05-21T16:33:00.000-07:00

Ok guys. Here are those tips and tricks I promised you along with that step by step guide to testing plants for edilbility. Its commonly known as the Universal Edibility Test. Let's start with the tips and tricks. They are much more basic and pretty easy to memorize.

The tips and tricks are simple guidelines and helpful hints to increase the likelihood of a foraging success on your excursion.

First off, know what you're looking for. I find its the most benficial if I study a specific plant and then try and find it. Start with research that helps you identify growing conditions and visuals of the plant so you can identify it in the wild. After a few weeks you will find your knowledge base filling out and coincidental finds will start to occur regularly. Knowledge, as always, is power.

Once you know the details, look at a map. Find an area in nature that looks like it boasts the proper growing conditions for the plant in question. When you find a suitable region take the time to hike around the area. Note that looking by small water bodies and creeks is a great place to look for edibles. Cattails and other easy to identify plants are abundant in these areas at the right time of year.

Trails are fine for finding your way through a nature reserve for instance, but they don't always serve as the best hunting grounds for wild food. Don't be afraid to venture deeper into the woods. Just make sure you don't get lost.

Travel slowly and methodically. This gives your eyes more time to adjust to their surroundings and increases the chances of a fruitful hunt. If you locate a desired plant or an area that looks promising initiate a more detailed search by starting at a central point and orbiting outward into larger and larger circles. This is very effective and works in multpile situations. Like I said in an earlier post I found onions and garlic by scent. Once I got that initial smell I put the orbit technique into practice to visually locate the plants.

When you do find something you consider a good find make sure you can come back. Use some sort of landmark to relocate the area in the future. If a plant has grown there once there is a good chance that it will again. Taking a few plastic bags and a digging tool is really quite helpful. Please don't leave trash in the woods though!

These tips are a solid base to start searching with. You will find after time that you will develop your own rules, ideas and techniques to increase your success. The trick is getting started. Be patient. Once you make your first discovery you'll be hooked and it only gets easier from there.

Organized searches aren't the only ways to find wild food. There is also trial and error. This, however, can be much more dangerous as you are working with little knowledge about an item and run the risk of poisoning. Here is a version of the Universal Edibility Test that allows you to taste unknown plants through trial and error much more safely.

Universal Edibilty Test

Step#1 Test only one part of the plant at a time so, if there is a reaction, you know where it came from. Some plants have edible and inedible parts, i.e. dandelions, you can eat the flowers and leaves but not the stems.

Step#2 Seperate the plant in question into its parts, i.e. roots, bulbs, stems, stalks, leaves, flowers, seeds, etc.

Step#3 Choose which part you want to test and perform the wafting technique with those pieces. Note severe odours or irritating reactions.

Step#4 Eat the test food on an empty stomach. Generally eight hours without eating before is enough time. This reduces the chances of a reaction from something else to happen during the test period.

Step#5 Testing for contact poisoning comes next. Just like poison ivy and oak, some plants give off reactions with direct skin contact. Simply put the plant parts on your inner forearm close to the elbow and leave in place for approximately 15 minutes. Remember to only drink water during the test period so as to not

Step#6 Wait an additional 15 minutes after application to the skin. With no reaction present you can proceed confidently.

Step#7 Prepare the plant for eating. For some this means washing, for others boiling or sauteeing. I prefer to eat something I am testing raw if possible. Some plants need to be cooked to be edible though. For instance fiddleheads need to be boiled or blanched to reduce the bitterness. There is a similar process for rhubarb.

Step#8 Now we are ready to test it on our lips. Place a small amount against the lips and wait three minutes. With no reaction you can proceed.

Step#9 The next step is similar but a more serious version of the lip test. Place a small amount on the tongue and hold it for approximately 15 minutes without swallowing. Hopefully there will be no reaction. We are getting close to being able to eat it, but not quite yet. I have found that keeping the item on my tingue for 15 minutes is difficult so if there is some shifting don't worry too much, but always be cautious.

Step#10 If all is still well then the next step is to chew a small piece of the plant. Make sure you chew enough to pulp the piece of plant. The idea is to release any internal irritants, poisons or toxins contained inside the plant that wouldn't cause a contact reaction.

Step#11 If no reactions are present, swallow the plant.

Step#12 Wait another eight hours. This may be difficult considering the eight hours we waited before the test. It is generally a good idea so try and stick with it. If any reactions occur induce vomiting and consult a doctor. So far in my experience, as long as you exercise some common sense, you tend to be A OK.

Step#13 The only thing left at this point is increasing the dosage. Sometimes a poison or toxin can be cummulative. Try eating double the amount of the previous test each time until you feel safe that its an edible food.

Step#14 Enjoy!

You can find a lot of similar test on a number of foraging and conservation sites. It is based on general survival training implemented by armed forces and survival groups around the world. Always consult an expert or certified guide before eating anything you are unsure of. Eat at your own risk.

Hope that wasn't to heavy an ending to this post. Next time I'm going to take some video of how to properly uproot and package a plant for safe transport. Until then, good hunting!!!

Pay dirt! Literally!!!

2009-05-12T14:50:00.000-07:00

Hooray!!!

I made my first substantial find of the spring season. I found both wild onions and garlic in two different places and I found them both by smell.

I went out hunting for new edibles on Monday. The weekend didn't offer much in the way of desirable weather. I walked close to a river-bed not too far from where I live. At first I found the standard items like dandelions and sow thistle, both of which provide decent salad greens if one was so inclined.

(I'm not focusing on those sorts of basics yet. Not until berry season when I can stand to create a dressing. I'll be looking to add walnuts to that salad, but I'm getting ahead of myself.)
I had walked a long while by the river and hadn't come up with any significant finds. I caught a strong smell of onions on the breeze. At first the scent was so strong I thought there was a BBQ close by. I quickly realized that wasn't the case.

I literally followed my nose to the area that smelled the worst. I had a good idea what they looked like (seen above in the photo, they look very similar to green onions. Details for both wild onions and garlic are at the bottom of the post )and walked around slowly so as not to trample any specimens.

I quickly found the plants. I took some to eat right away, I made a delicious piece of herb and onion crusted fish. I mixed the leftovers into my butter and sour cream for an added kick to other dishes.

I took another bunch and transported them home to a flower pot. I'll let you know if they survive. When I left the scene I made sure to mark the area mentally so I could return for more later in the season and even in following years. That's an excellent tip right there.

I also took note of some young cattails and a crab apple tree. Both will yield edibles further into the year. Each time I come back for onions I'll check on the progress of the trees and cattails.

Wild Onions: They are just beginning to sprout and can be found throughout North America. Note that the plant will take slight visual variations depending on area and climate, such as height and colour. They will maintain through May and June, which are the best months, but can be found throughout summer.

I found them in dark, clay-like soil very close to the river bed. They taste very much like green onions with a slightly hotter or spicier aftertaste. The entire plant from bulb to stalk is edible and quite tasty. Make sure you take off the roots and rinse in warm water. Great for onion nuts. Don't eat too much or you may end up needing a shower.

I was pretty eager to go out again the next day after such a great find but I wanted to look elsewhere to see if i could find something new. The way I see it if I can find fruit trees and bushes, nut bearing plants and trees and other edible plants and catalogue where they are I'll have a lot of harvest points for years to come.

Like I always preach its good exercise, easy on the wallet and it increases our knowledge of nature. It might even make us better cooks!

Like on Monday I went close to water but very different conditions. There was very little in the way of foliage and tree cover and the water body was more of a large pond than a flowing river.
There was evidence of cattails everywhere. All too young to eat.

I moved through the thin brush and vines pretty easily. Once again I picked up an onion smell, a little stronger than before.

Remembering how I found the wild onion the previous day I moved towards the stink. It was that strong to warrant stink as a description. I found a small field of wild garlic. It grew in patches that were mostly centralized around the largest clump. Only in this one spot did I find any at all.

The garlic is from the same family as the onion I found from the day before. As such they follow much in the way of growing season but the conditions I found them in were quite different.

The image here shows a clump of wild garlic uprooted. Notice the dark green leaves which change close to white by the base and finally settling into a purple colour right where the roots and bulbs connect.

The plant can become a little tough towards the bottom. Simply trim off an inch above the roots to avoid the worst of the base. Blanching and boiling the bases can add some zip to a vegetable stock for soups if you don't like wasting anything.

As always, consult official guides and books before consuming anything. I will post the 13 step tasting guide and a list of foraging tips this week. If you would like to see certain information regarding the plants please comment and let me know and I will grow this blog to a useful tool. I'm doing this because I had such I hard time finding foraging information.

Thanks guys! Talk soon.

Let the harvest begin.

2009-05-03T13:47:00.000-07:00

Foraging for wild food is quickly becoming a passion of mine. Its truly amazing just how much is out there in nature to eat, if you know what you're looking for. Each season has something to offer and spring's flavours are here now. Look for fiddleheads, mushrooms, wild leeks and onions in the coming weeks.

The benefits of foraging are hard to measure; you save money by picking wild food, the food you find is naturally grown in the wild and contains no additives, foraging is fantastic exercise, it teaches independence and self reliance and it tastes great.

I've been doing a lot of research on edible items easily found in nature in the Niagara Falls area but many of the items dealt with in this blog are popular and easy to find across North America. You only need to find the proper growing conditions for the items you are looking for and hunt in an appropriate area containing those conditions.

What I found was that May and June boasts a wide variety of wild foods. I went morel hunting for the first time this season last weekend. I didn't find a lot but certainly enough for a nice mushroom sauce to have with a nicely cooked piece of beef.

In order to find morels you need to know a little bit about them.

Where can I find morels?

They can be found in forests and wood-chipped areas. The soil should be rich and dark with a decent level of moisture. Look for them hiding under fallen foliage and wood chips and along paths in the woods. Once you spot one they become easier and easier to find.

When do I find morels?

There are a few different types of morels. The first ones to appear show up near the beginning of may. All morels have a unique brain-like structure. The early ones have dark ridges while the ones that come in late May and early June are closer to a neutral brown tone. Both are edible.

What do they look like?

They are odd and oblong. No two are exactly alike. They grow with a pitted brain-like structure. The early May morels have dark ridges and brown centres with the later morels having a more uniform brown tone throughout on the ridges and body alike. I have a photo of an early morel that I'll post in the next two or three days. At least well before next weekend so you hunters can see what you're looking for.

Be aware that before consuming any food from the wild you should consult an expert or an official field guide that lays out the details of edibility and toxicity or use the standard 13 step process to determine edibility employed by many armies around the world. I'll post a 13 step guide to eating unknown food tomorrow. It is essential reading for the adventurous wild food taster.

I am going hunting for nuts, fiddleheads and leeks this weekend so check back early next week for more details on finds. As I located items I will post photos, information details and maybe even a recipe for each one. Until next time.

The beginning.

2009-05-01T07:22:00.000-07:00

Well it has to start somewhere. So I guess this is as good a place as any.
Basically I wanted a blog where I could give my two cents about issues that were important to me. Some are serious issues while others, not so much.
I live right on the border of Canada and the United States. In recent history Canada has come under attack from some U.S. government officials and even a sports talk show.
This 'erks' the s@#t out of me. Now I have the forum to vent. (I'll be writing at length about this very issue this weekend. Look for new posts early next week)
That's not all that this blog is about.
Beyond politics I am interested in biology and the environment. I am in the midst of compiling a wild food guide to aid forest walkers and foragers located edible foods in the wild. You'd be surprised how much you can bring home to the dinner table from a simple walk in the woods.
I'll be writing about that this weekend as well. I'm taking a trip to northern Ontario this weekend and I'm planning on stopping in the woods on the lake Huron shoreline to forage for wild food. I'll be looking for fiddleheads, mushrooms. onions, leeks and nuts and berries. It may be a little early for the mushrooms and fiddleheads but we'll find out. And I'll let you know what I get from the excursion. If I can compile enough solid information I'm going to try and put together a definitive foragers guide including all the needed info to hunt for food yourself.
Lastly, but not leastly, (on purpose) I'm a pretty big geek. I'm going to see the new Star Trek movie on May 8th. I'm not holding my breathe but I'll give it a chance.
All told look for politics, environment and entertainment to be the focus for this blog. When something catches me as exceptional (whether its exceptionally bad or good makes little difference) I'll take issue.

Until next time...